Stagnation

You don't have to know me well at all to know that I enjoy & follow the ministry of Beth Moore.
She almost always makes me laugh. She sometimes makes me cry.
She encourages believers to read & study The Word because she knows The Word is life to God's children. She's right.

But today, she provoked me to thought. I believe that's the mark of an effective minister or ministry.
In fact, I think it's the job of those in ministry, nay, their responsibility, to do just that and do it often.

If I'm not thinking, I'm not learning. If I'm not learning, I become stagnant.

Stagnant: adj., not flowing; stale; not advancing or developing.  Ewwww ... no bueno.

The provocation? Her question:

"What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?"

I read it again. Only this time it was personal:

"Kimberly, what do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?"

If I'd been standing in front of mirror at that moment, I fear I would have been unrecognizable.

The truth is I hadn't thought about anything faintly resembling that in quite a while. <insert stagnation here>  The elements contributing to the stagnation process?

Pain.

Tears.

Fear.

Confusion.

Panic.

Anger but not too much. Just enough to bring on ...

Hopelessness.

Isolation.

Distraction.

What prompted the process? That's unimportant.

What is important is recognizing the process exists, regardless of it's stage. Acknowledging it.

I believe that complacency is cancer in the life of the Believer. There's no place for it. Never. EVER.

God doesn't un-call those He has called.  He doesn't un-anoint those He has anointed. He doesn't change. I like love that about Him.

I've taken a good long look and I don't see the same woman in the midst of ministry, full of joy & so in love with her Savior. The woman so appreciative of her salvation, never doubting He loved her and always confident that, in His time, He would meet her every need.

I miss her. I don't think I realized that until just now. She needs to get back to doing her Father's business.  If she has to do it tired and hurting than so be it.

Who would have thought an impromptu blog post by someone several states and a timezone away would have prompted so much thought? I bet Jesus did.  He's awesome like that. ;)

Forever Thankful

Thirteen years ago today, my (then) 20 year old son, Joshua Isaiah, had an accident while on his way to work that included being catapulted into an oncoming train. The impact caused both airbags to deploy and he was ejected from the vehicle backward through the driver's side window (with such force that his shoes were left in the floorboard) and thrown 40 feet onto the highway. Miraculously, he was not hit by traffic on this normally very busy stretch of road.

He was transported to the hospital via ambulance. The assumption was that after such an incident he would surely have broken bones and internal injuries. After a thorough exam by the emergency room physicians and head-to-toe x-rays, his only injuries were a broken tooth, lacerations on his neck (that stitches fixed beautifully), multiple scrapes and scratches on his face and arms and a pretty bad case of road rash on his torso. He was kept overnight for observation and released the next morning.

 

 

 

 

 

March 9th will always be a day that finds me with a thankful heart. I know the outcome could've been very different. Considering the nature of the accident, it probably should've been different but it wasn't.  Thankful doesn't cover it. It's not adequate but for lack of a better word, I'll use it.

 

If I live to be a 150 years old, I'll never be able to thank God enough for the gift He gave me the morning of March 9, 2000. I'm at a loss. There are no words.

 

Thank you Lord.

 



 

23 Years Ago Today

Freddie,

I think of you often but

 every year on your birthday and on
the seventh of March,

 the anniversary of your death,

I think of you a lot.

 

I revisit the events of the evening.

The line of traffic ...

the moment ... the hurt ...

the aftermath.

I remember who you were.

 Handsome.
Looking more like your Uncle Ray than either of his children!
Intense.
Lover of family.
Fiercely protective.

Faithful friend.

 

I imagine what you would have become.
 

What would life have had in store for you ...

A career? A wife & children?

 

Family get togethers still include you.
Stories told and retold of you and
(dare I say it ;) your shananigans.
 

Laughter through tears.

 

 

The Ellis Grandchildren -December 1987
Jack, Ker-Rae, Gregory, Kimmy (rear)
RayRay, Shanny, Freddie (sitting)
Philip, Joshua -the great grands (front)
 

Our family has grown since you've been gone.

Between the six of us,

your brothers & four cousins,

there are 14 great-grandchildren.

 

You have four nephews.

Oh how you would have loved them.

You would have been an awesome uncle.

Their biggest fan.

No. Doubt. About. It.

 

Great-great grandchildren have been added to the mix

and this number will grow by leaps & bounds in the years to come!

My four favorite people call me Nana.

My heart now knows why they loved us so much.

 

Mamaw & Papaw Ellis
The best grandparents in the world!

 

Grandchildren rock.

So did they.

But you already knew that!

 

The Ellis Farmhouse

Oh the fun we had in that farmhouse, in that yard, laughing and playing for hours on end.

 

Today I honor your memory.

A life too short.

 

You've been gone longer than you were here.

You have been missed.

 

 

You are missed.

Still today.

Twenty-three years later.

Rest in peace Cousin.
Your memory lives on.
You are loved.