Sunday, August 26, 2012

My baby is thirty ... sniff, sniff

I know that you mommas will all agree. There is nothing in the world that will make you more sentimental than your children's birthdays. No matter how old they are.

My baby is 30 today. Since I didn't take my own 30th birthday well, I see no reason to take his well either.  Having woke up in the wee hours of the morning, my thoughts have been directed toward the birthday boy and his brother (his senior by 2-years, 6-months & 26 days :). These thoughts have prompted me to cry for them, laugh for them but, most of all thank God for them ... and their daddy who made it all possible! (I told you I was feeling sentimental & not just a little ;)

Regrets? Of course. There are a few but really only three. Well, three biggies any way & I believe - all sentimentality aside - that without these three things nagging at my maternal heartstrings - all others would be rendered moot.

#1   I wish I'd taken more time to soak both of them in, slow down and cherish more of the moments with those precious boy bundles God so graciously entrusted to me. You see, I'm a firm believer that "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". Motherhood is the highest calling & to do it well takes everything you have within you and then some.

#2   I wish I had never uttered the word "hurry" to either one of them. What was I in such a hurry about anyway? If I could, I'd go back and replace every "Hurry" with "Don't worry. Momma will wait. Take your time precious one" ... but I can't and it makes me sad ... very sad.

My pregnancy with him was uneventful. His birth was not. I'll spare you the details ("You're welcome") but an emergency Cesarean produced a beautiful, 8 lb., 9 oz. baby boy with a head full of black hair ... perfection!  We both came home 5-days later, which also happened to be my 21st birthday.

His brother had some difficulty pronouncing the words baby and Philip so our new addition quickly become known within our family as "Bobby Phipp" . We've long since dropped the bobby but he remains Phipp (or Phipper) ... nicknames in Appalachia hold hard!

#3  I wish with all my heart that I'd had more children. At least two more. This regret is not a new one. I've felt it since they were both in junior high. The decision to stop at two children was strictly financial and now (5-days shy of 51) that seems an especially foolish decision to make so early in life (I was 21 - what was I thinking!) Of course, if you've known me (since becoming a mother) you'd know that the feeling of Fall in the air brings about visions of newborn wonderfulness & I ovulate ... even post hysterectomy! ;) 

With all that said, I'm so thankful for my boys. I never had a preference as to what gender either pregnancy produced.  I never gave it a second thought either way. Health was my only concern. (Perhaps I would've eventually had an opinion if I'd continued and kept popping out sons!)  Of course, back in the Stone Ages, you had to be prepared for either/or. There was no ultrasound "Gender Day".  You bought lots of green & yellow and you had  two names picked out. (I still remember them - Joshua Isaiah would have been "Rhonda Leigh" & Philip Andrew would have been "Candace" - her middle name was still up in the air :)   I stand amazed by God and His forethought and care for our future ... Of course, He would give me sons. There was no room in my home for another female suffering from PMS ... He gives us what we need ... He is infinitely wise! :)

Happy 30th birthday Philip Andrew!
Your momma loves you more than you'll ever know my sweet boy!



1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful tribute to a fine young man--and, yes, 30 IS young, at least from my vantage point. I so identify with your three regrets, especially the third. The bonds I have with my brothers and sisters will never be experienced by my one and only child, a true loss for her that I never considered as I struggled through her early years.

    From the short time I've known them, your boys have matured into men who reflect the love and compassion that I'm sure they were taught at their mother's knee. I pray that Philip's 30th birthday is just the beginning of the best years of his life--for all of you!


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